“I am confused between boundaries and being a good Christian pratcising longsuffering and patience?”
1.What’s the confusion?
Spiritual Misunderstanding:
We often think that being loving, forgiving, long-suffering, patient means never saying no, endlessly tolerating mistreatment, or allowing people to cross our personal limits.
What actually happens:
Without boundaries, we often end up exhausted, resentful, used, and drifting far from God’s peace — even though on the outside it looks “holy.”
2. What is the difference between being spiritual and lacking boundaries?
3. Biblical Examples of Boundaries
Jesus had boundaries:
He didn’t heal everyone at every moment (John 5:1–15).
He often withdrew to solitary places to pray (Luke 5:16).
He said no to certain demands and expectations (Luke 4:42–44).
He didn’t allow people to manipulate His mission, even close friends (Matthew 16:23).
Paul set boundaries:
He refused to take along John Mark for a mission trip after past unreliability (Acts 15:36–41).
He spoke truth in love, but firmly.
Proverbs teaches boundaries:
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” (Proverbs 4:23)
4. How to Set Boundaries Practically — Spiritually and Kindly
Step 1:
Pray for Discernment
Ask: Lord, is this You asking me to carry this, or is this a burden I am picking up from guilt or fear?
Prayer sharpens when to say “yes” and when to say “no.”
Step 2:
Know Your Assignment
If a request compromises your health, family, calling, or peace — it’s a red flag.
You are not called to everything, but to your specific God-given assignment.
Step 3:
Learn to Say No with Love
Example:
“Thank you for thinking of me, but I won’t be able to commit to this right now.”
“I care deeply, but I need to protect my time/energy for what God is asking me to steward.”
You can be firm and kind at the same time.
Step 4:
Prepare for Discomfort
Some people may be upset when you set boundaries, especially if they benefited from your lack of them.
That’s okay. Being uncomfortable for a moment is better than being resentful for a lifetime.
Step 5:
Trust the Holy Spirit to Help You Hold the Line
Once you set a boundary, don’t rush to explain too much.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no (Matthew 5:37).
5. A Personal Heart Check: When you are long-suffering…
Is it because God is asking you to endure for a season (with grace)?
Or is it because you’re afraid to confront, disappoint, or lose relationships?
True long-suffering is led by the Holy Spirit.
False long-suffering is led by fear, guilt, or pressure.
In Short:
Boundaries are not unspiritual.
They are a powerful act of obedience and wisdom.
They allow you to love purely, serve healthily, and endure joyfully — without losing yourself.
Prayer for Setting and Keeping Godly Boundaries
Father God,
Thank You for the life, calling, and purpose You have placed within me.
Thank You that You are not a God of confusion, but of peace.
Today, I ask for wisdom to know what You are truly calling me to do — and what I must lovingly release.
Teach me to walk in the Spirit, not in guilt or fear.
Teach me to say yes when You lead, and to say no when necessary, without shame.
Help me to recognize when burdens are not mine to carry.
Help me to guard my heart without building walls.
Help me to protect my time, my peace, my energy, and my calling — so that I can serve You with joy, not resentment.
Holy Spirit, fill me with courage to honor the boundaries You lead me to set.
Where I have confused people-pleasing with love, renew my mind.
Where I have overextended myself, show me how to rest in You.
Let every boundary I set be built on love, truth, humility, and obedience.
May my life bear fruit that remains, fruit born out of willing and joyful surrender to Your will alone.
I trust You to guide my words, my yes, my no, my steps, and my relationships.
Thank You that I can serve others without losing the life You have entrusted to me.
Thank You that true love has boundaries — because true love always protects.
In Jesus’ Name,
